just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sorry about my life...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
