are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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