I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
