im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
