Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize