Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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