Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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