Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think my moral compass just broke
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
