I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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