Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i dont even know how to be here
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
