We're like a lot better than the average bears
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize