I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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