I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
