I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
