Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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