you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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