my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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