can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
operation harelip BJ is a go
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
