Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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