the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize