Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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