i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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