I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
