Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
