If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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