why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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