I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
