She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize