Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
