she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
