My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
