In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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