I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
