I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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