dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize