i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
