Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so let's talk penis.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
