dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
