I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
