he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
