i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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