he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
