I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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