I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
