I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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