if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
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You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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