dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just found puke in my bra..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
