If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
