I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
