His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
