you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
