great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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