But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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