For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
