i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
