i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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