Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
