You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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