I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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