I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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