He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I could fuck to npr.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
