I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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