someone owes me an orgasm
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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